Confessions of An Addict

I have an addiction.

You may have noticed my lack of activity with my blog this summer. This is do largely because of one thing; video games.

I have come to a point where it has strained my relationships and affected my well-being.  When they say porn and games is a Christian man's worst nightmare believe me, its true.

I moved southward around the end of April. Shortly after, I went to visit my parents up through June. It has been a month since I came back to my new place and I still haven't found a job. I haven't even been to church since I got back nor have I contacted a new church about RCIA.

How lame.

It's funny because I went through the same cycle in my first semester of college. Twelve hours a day is nothing for me. I conquer  bad guys, slay dragons, the works.  While at the same time nothing gets done that I need to do.

It seems every time I hit a low-point in my life I always look for something.  Something more than mediocrity.  Something special.

 A life of "not big enough", "I don't feel that way about you" and "you need better grades" can really take a toll. Haters.

One good thing about me though is I love to love. I always look for the good in the bad and I always drink the half glass cheerfully.

I think that is part of the reason I got so drawn to Christ.  With Jesus it isn't about standards. "You're enough." I smile whenever I think about that in my head.

Why do I get addicted to video games? I thought about it. Is it a self-fulfilling desire to be good at something for once? who knows and frankly I don't care.

I have dwindled my gaming hours down to about 3 hours a day now. I have applied places and even had two interviews. Now, I think it is time for a relationship change.  With my parents and more importantly with Jesus.

"I pray for the strength to change the things I can change, the endurance for things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."